In my experience it doesn’t matter how talented a performer may be, if their belief system is such that they can’t get out and perform or it causes them to perform badly when they do, then no matter how talented they are they will find it extremely difficult to reach their singing goals. I have seen many a great singer turn away from their dream due to negative beliefs such as “I am not good enough”, “Everyone is better that me” or “They won’t like me”.
If you are a singer or performer who suffers from beliefs that limit your ability to do what you love then I strongly suggest that before you go any further you sort this out.
Limiting beliefs develop early in childhood as we interpret our parents’ actions and behaviours. We attach meaning to their behaviour and the meaning then causes us to behave in certain ways. Our own behaviour patterns may appear to have no particular logic and present themselves in a variety of ways, such as, procrastinations, over achieving, untidiness, obsessive neatness, doing too much, not doing enough, lateness, earliness, thrill seeking, avoidance, overconfidence, lack of confidence, lack of emotion, quick to anger, do-gooding, a victim mentality, obsessiveness about completion, lack of ability to complete, focusing on other peoples needs, self obsession, thrill seeking, fear, the need to control everything or neediness…to name a few.
The kind of underlying beliefs that drive these habits include:
- I’m not good enough
- I always fail
- I am not worthy
- I am always wrong
- It has to be perfect…
- It’s bad to make mistakes
- Nobody understands me
- I’m not important
- If I get it wrong I will be rejected/ridiculed
now add your own…!
In order make changes you will first need to delve deep into yourself to identify the fundamental beliefs that are driving your undesirable behaviours. Then you will need to eliminate the limiting beliefs. Once free of the beliefs that are stopping you from achieving your goals you will be able to move on and take the necessary actions towards your goals. If at any time you are not moving towards your goals or seem to be taking too long to achieve them then re evaluate your belief system, explore the possibility that there is another limiting belief driving you away from your goals and dreams. Sometime we can get quite a surprise. For instance recently I was working on myself and realised I had the idea that “If I succeed I will be noticed and then there is pressure on me not to make mistakes”. This stems from a belief that it is bad to make mistakes.
There are a variety of methods you might use to eliminate limiting self beliefs. What ever you do don’t wait for the problem to dissolve, it wont. The thing about beliefs is that they are already ingrained by the time we are 5-6 years old, deep and in the subconscious.
A few methods I know about:
- The Lefkoe Method -Morty Lefkoe
- Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)
- Neurolinguistic Programing (NLP)
- Traditional counseling
- The Work -Bryon Katie
- Cognitive Behaviour Analysis (CBT)
Expect this to be a work in progress, some times when we eliminate one belief another one pops up beneath it, bit like pealing back an onion! It will take time and effort on your part but ultimately it will be worth it.
Have you found a method of dealing with limiting beliefs that works for you? Have you tried any of the methods I’ve mentioned? Please tell me what’s worked for you.
In the meantime, happy eliminating!
Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn’t have it in the beginning. – Mahatma Gandhi